A Story About Mentorship
When the Zoom call’s ended, I open up Google, and in the search box I type:
Women cry at work
This is what I just did. I have so many questions that I can’t think of a better search phrase other than simply describing the situation. Why did it happen? How would it reflect on me? How to make sure it won’t happen again?
It was a casual coffee chat with one colleague. We were exchanging work we are doing. My work actually isn’t going well. I’ve been stuck cleaning one database for months, and those prolonged review sessions are driving me crazy. But still, I dusted off my negative feelings and said “All is well.”
My colleague, on the other hand, seems to be doing much better. His eyes sparkled as he talked about how interesting his current case is, and how excited he is to see junior members he grooms grow into experts.
He’s doing great, amazing things, while my career sucks. Initially I was in a high-profile case but was asked to transition to another because, as I was so told, “my skillset has more value there.” But that case never started. So I ended up in my current project. Months passed, I don’t get to learn much, and I’m stuck in a precarious situation. I feel left out and not valued.
Before I realized, a tear fell down my face. Even with a screen, he still noticed.
“What’s wrong?” “Are you OK?” He was surprised.
I was lost for words and full of tears. “Can I call you back later?” I quickly said and hung up.
Then it’s the scene at the beginning.
I feel so confused and embarrassed. I frantically browse webpages, trying to figure out how to savage all this. Just as I’m doing this, the colleague sent me a message:
“Don’t beat yourself up on this. Wanna chat about it?”
So we reconnect. We talk for another 30 minutes. I open up about my disappointment towards my current project, and the depression I’m feeling at work. I even tell him I’m thinking about leaving.
He offers me a listening ear and genuine advice without reservation. He shares how he coped with a similar situation before, encourages me to express myself, and even gives me tips on career transition.
Before the call, I was in a shell. Now talking it all through, I feel relieved, and most importantly, hopeful.
This is one story with my mentor whose name shall remain anonymized.
What I just shared with you is a very fragile moment of mine. But I still want to share, because this is a defining moment of what mentorship is like. Whenever I think about it, my heart is filled with warmth and gratitude.
I used to maintain a distance with my colleagues, keeping everything professional. I tended to hide my feelings, especially negative ones, at work. I didn’t know how to ask for help or whom to ask for help.
But my mentor doesn’t wait for people to come. He reaches out to help. And his knowledge and honesty makes people like me feel comfortable and safe to open up. He is someone I can rely on to lend an ear or provide guidance. What touches me the most, is that even though he is my colleague, he cares about my career rather than my job. He pushes me to rethink my goals and is always supportive of me exploring more options.
I will no longer feel embarrassed if I ever cry at work again. I now realize the importance of having a support system where I can vent my feelings and seek help. It’s my greatest luck to have my mentor. The mentorship he gives me is something I will forever remember and relentlessly pass on.
